According to the Michael Bay school of filmmaking, the storyline is a necessary evil for setting up chase scenes, gunfire, or a juvenile love conflict. Fortunately for the director, in “Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen,” story constitutes no more than 10 percent of the film.

If anyone knows how to make a teen’s PG-13-Rated wet-dream, that person is Michael Bay. He isolates every element known to excite young males and squares it. Explosions and gunplay, check. Small, comedic robots, check. Gung-ho soldiers, check. Stupid government officials, check. Chase scenes, check. Hot cars, check. Hot girl in Daisy Duke shorts, double check. Awesome, huge, shape-shifting robots, triple check.

Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), is living every teen’s dream. He’s an only child and the apple of his parents’ eye. Mikaela (Megan Fox), his sexy galpal, would rather fix cars than go shopping. A Bumblebee Camaro doubling as his personal Autobot bodyguard, resides in Sam’s garage.

As the film opens, Sam’s only problems arise from being overly loved by his parents, his car and his girl. On the eve of Sam’s departure to college, Mom (Julie White) threatens to move into Sam’s dorm room while Dad tries to placate her with a tropical vacation. His Camaro Autobot cries tears of brake fluid after Sam informs the car it can’t come with him to school. Mikaela, who must also remain behind, complains Sam has never said the “L” word.

Though she comes to Sam’s college campus to rescue him when he is threatened by the evil Decepticon bots, Mikaela’s desire to hear Sam utter sweet nothings is never far from her mind.

Whether blowing up bridges, Sam’s home or reruining the Egyptian ruins, the Decepticons have one goal: To gain possession of the shard that holds the key to reactivating their leader. This impacts Sam who has been unaware that the shard has made its home inside his brain.

Though “silly” best describes Bay’s blockbuster flick, he never lets that word get in the way of serious metal-on-metal action. It’s clear that the lion’s share of his $200 million dollar budget was spent creating these Transformer confrontations because the dialog is a tangled mess and the film’s soundtrack recycles the score from a half dozen previous Michael Bay movies.

The hero’s big internal conflict is addressed even during conflagrations that find Sam and Mikaela continuing to debate who should say the “L” word first. Sam is naturally happy with no one saying it, but Mikaela, who apparently can’t be sensible because she’s a girl, is obsessed.

During the final battle in and around the Egyptian pyramids, Sam is hunted by Decepticons large and small. He and Mikaela run from one structure to the next, narrowly escaping getting blown to smithereens. Through it all, Mikaela’s false eyelashes remain perfectly set and her formfitting white pants remain perfectly white. Boys may get turned on by these Transformer robot battles, but makeup and clothes that remain unmussed, are the stuff every girl dreams of.